DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
