I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
