i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
