We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
