just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
