its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
