yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
