If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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