I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
