I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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