I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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