so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
