i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
