I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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