i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
