Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
