I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize