Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
