The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
