I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
