You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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