Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
