Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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