At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
