Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
