What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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