Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize