Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
