i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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