Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
