We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
