then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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