Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
