My friends, they love my intelligence
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
