I have demons in me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
