It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize