when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
