bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
