Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
