yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
