you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
