Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
