I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
