I wish I could teleport
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
