Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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