I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
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