you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
