we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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