I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
