Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
