I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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