When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
