I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you never un-have a 4some
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
