evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize