I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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