You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
