I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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