So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
