in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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