Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
