Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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