evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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