That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
