Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
