Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
