I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
