I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I haven't been this sober since birth.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Shame is for Republicans.
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