i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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