He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i came on her dog
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
