this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
