And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
