PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I could fuck to npr.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
